10 steps to killing your kid’s imagination
10 steps to killing your kid’s imagination
Can you imagine a child, completely devoid of imagination? From the first months of life, children learn to manage images. Imagination helps the child to socialize, to avoid psychological trauma, to understand other people’s emotions, to create and to be happy – and it wants every parent.
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How to make so that with age, children’s imagination is not faded, and the desire to create and to learn new things not missing? Understand the example of “contradiction”: what not to do if you want to educate gifted children.
To keep within the four walls
Don’t be afraid to let children on the street, forbid them to play with buddies to catch and football, otherwise in a few years, will complain: “Again, spent the whole day at the computer!”. We do not argue that at home they can spend time with benefits, but spending time from the category “TV – homework – connect with the same people” that repeats day after day, kills the idea: “You rise and take a place among the boring adults with their adult problems”. Street games with friends is the new people and knowledge, mistakes and achievements – what we call personal experience.
To impose their vision
Every child is born with creative instincts, but the constant guidance from adults, as expected (“Where did you see the cat with blue paws?”, “Why does your little men feet grow out of your ears?”) can strangle them in the Bud. Do not impose to the child their vision of the world and permanently delete from the parent of the lexicon of the phrase “Not so necessary, but so!” “Mother knows best” and “Give it to me, she will make it.” Allow the child to build a representation of reality.
Give the child freedom of expression
In one of the stories Salinger the hero asked what he would change in the modern education system. “I probably would have helped them to get rid of all that have inspired their parents and all around.” It is not necessary to tell the child that the elephant is big, he believes that an elephant’s only big in comparison with a person or dog. And do not say that the grass is green, because green is just a word.
To control every step
Do you think that they are acting for the benefit of the child, when watching his every step: the constant questioning, calls to educators and teachers, web camera in the nursery, painted strictly by the hour week. But when you have children there’s no chance to take the initiative to carry out a spontaneous desire or “kick noodle”, as they see adults, they quickly lose interest in learning new things. The child does under duress and to wean to make my own decisions.
To doubt in abilities
Remember the childhood: mom discussed your abilities in a negative way with other adults? “And my-then 2 for dictation received, well, not a muddle?”, – so we heard from one mom in the presence of her child. I wonder how it will affect his confidence in the future.
Let the child himself will find that he likes
Don’t tell children, “You can’t do that because…”, – give it a try, without comments (“then you have to try”, “just don’t cry if it doesn’t work”, “well, just start with…”) and if he fails, it will be his personal experience, not the realization that parents don’t believe in it.
To buy “fancy” toys
For kids toys is a way of understanding reality. Children’s imagination can create a whole world of primitive toys, as long as they were bright colors. Do not argue, sometimes like to shove the baby talking Furby or tablet with some cat-a poser and take some time away from parental responsibilities.
Gadgets kill creativity
But, studies show, talking toys, slow down the speech development of children in 2-3 years (communicating with them, the child feels the role of the viewer, not the Creator of your reality). And too early accustomed to the virtual world contributes to the development of klipovoy thinking. Wean the brain to take in information linearly, in a text form. So instead of roosebeke or tablet buy children designer, a doll or stuffed animal.
To appease with gifts
Even if you had a difficult childhood and you swore you provide your child children what they dreamed of at their age, it is not necessary to destroy the innate curiosity of buying all that indicate your son or daughter.
To compare with other children
Every child is different – it would seem, is a truism. But in the competitive excitement (“And our already holds the crown! Learned to read in 2 years! Plays at 8!”) some parents begin to compare the child with a definite ideal, and this greatly erodes the psyche. It is especially annoying when the “ideal” is the son of my mother’s friends or obnoxious classmate: “Why did you get 3, and Misha a 5? What are you, stupid Misha?”, “But Lida sings and plays the piano – not you. Take his example”.
Comparison with other children kills not only creativity, but also self esteem
To ignore the successes
We are very sorry for the children whose parents perceive a good score for granted, and focus on failures. Common situation: mom and dad are good at math, and the child is enough it three (although perfectly in time for another class) and constantly hears in his address “the shame of the family!” or something equally destructive to self-esteem, while success in the Humanities unnoticed. Don’t do that.
Do not ignore children’s achievements
To encourage success financially
No, this paragraph contradicts the previous one. To celebrate the success of the child and to develop his reflex “did received” are two different things. The true Creator gets pleasure from the process of creating, not from awards. Expectations of material reward for the act (this includes evaluation and “star”) discourage the desire to learn something over the plate.
To drive into the framework of dualism
If you raise a child according to the principle “There are two ways: right and wrong”, you need to change something in your strategy, otherwise you risk to grow a robot that acts according to the algorithm. The world is not divided into black and white, it’s multicolor. The dual approach to education not only kills the imagination: the child loses sensitivity, benevolence, and Forbearance, starts dividing everyone into “us” and “them”.
Do not drive the child into the algorithm with two variants of answer, Try to play with the child to the game: agree that you both the whole day will not utter the words “black” and “white”, “Yes” and “no”, and who still break the rules you pay the fine. This day will be full of laughter and emotion.