Drink the signs of the zodiac – who is better not to drink!

2018-03-09 21:00

Drink the signs of the zodiac – who is better not to drink!
If you want to drink surrounded by unfamiliar people, health and safety, recommends drinking buddies look at the passport to see the date of birth.

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Capricorn

The consciousness of man Capricorn is calculated by a simple formula: the character in the tenth degree plus the root of common sense to multiply by minus one. The condition comes after the third glass, and further does not change regardless of the amount of alcohol consumed. Closed and cautious Capricorn drunk turns into the soul of the company, which is generously lavishes compliments to others and kindly respond to jokes. Do not get fooled! The catch is that the next morning the bastard Remembers Everything.

Aquarius

Drunk Aquarius is able to change the world, not exchanged for such trifles as a fulcrum. He takes a sheet of paper and gives birth to the divine line is thrown to the canvas and three strokes included in the history of world art, composes a revolutionary economic model or creates a new religion. Only here, unfortunately, that has never been seen. And, in fact, drunk Aquarius. Because usually a little drunken Aquarius says: “You guys have fun, and I went to sleep.” And goes to sleep.

Fish

If sawfish, stay away. If the fish saw a lot of run. Drunken fish is experiencing a whole range of emotions for four minutes, then repeats this cycle until able to move through the gills. Only that she was crying in a corner because no one loves her, and after thirty seconds already happily jumping on chairs, waving the panties over his head and throws on companions caviar. But at the same time recounts just heard a joke from the first person in history that happened just yesterday.

Aries

The first rule of drinking Rams: never drink with the Rams. If you already drink with Rams, try to sit next to a sober Aquarius, so it time you stopped. Otherwise, you risk to Wake up in some Leningrad (where this city was), and then it turns out that yesterday you married a middle-aged teacher of Russian language and offended a good man in a black faux fur hat. While Aries will be sympathetic to look at you absolutely sober eyes and shaking his head: “What are you, we’re a little bit”. Well, if you are an Aries, you should keep in mind that the other characters are very strange physiology – they are from alcoholic drinks gets drunk.

Taurus

Drunk Taurus always pretends that he’s sober. Even if Taurus crawling on the floor like a snail, leaving a wet trail, it still felt that the evening had just begun. The Taurus there is an inviolable rule: take everything from life. All the money, all the sex and to have a house – full Cup. This equally applies to alcohol. If you are going to enjoy together with Calf, not save, otherwise you will hear something like: “send the fool for vodka – one and he will bring.” However, two of vodka too, you can’t save after them, Taurus will show to the world krasovskogo Bichara and ruin everything I can crawl: coffee service, geranium, and your good relations.

Gemini

Notorious duality of the Twins on the stage of alcoholic intoxication retreats, bringing to the fore one of the hypostases. And here – as lucky. On-mountain can get funny cat with a microphone and a summary of the “You sing beautifully!” or a dark fiend that not only hates all others, but also eager to destroy them. In the second case, vis-a-vis the Twin risks to learn a lot about their appearance, about their abilities and about their own life decisions. The next morning, the Twins shake his head, saying, thou mad, to be offended? I was drunk.

Cancer

Water Cancer – the only way to know it truly. Arthropod a master of disguise in a drunken state open to the world and finally no longer shy. If you ride on spontaneous sex sober Cancer – the problem with asterisk, drunk Cancer almost in stocking feet, and all lights. Of course, senoko Cancer will again climb into your chitin and will be there in silence, his teeth, to suffer.

Leo

Drunk lion is no different from the Lion sober. Except that the number of decibels increases in direct proportion to the amount consumed. Sober Leo, writes about his prowess, adventures and victories, still sometimes pauses to breathe a little air. But the drunken lion air is completely useless. The drunken lion need the umpteenth time to tell the story of the series “how awesome am I, Lord,” because in the company of twenty men was one unfortunate that this story has somehow never heard of.

Virgin

Why drink virgin – is unclear. Perhaps the soul is drunk virgin temporarily out of the body in order to wander through green fields with violets. In our sinful world virgin runs three mandatory stages: “I’m so drunk”(after the first cocktail), “I love you”(middle of the night) and “Where’s the aspirin?”(in the morning). Young hangover Virgo can in the morning to find that she was not a virgin, but the details do not remember ever. Very convenient, by the way.

Libra

Libra drinking fear, but love. Because only in a drunken state they have never been able to weigh all around and come into harmony with the surrounding world. The eternal search for the light of the ideal of temporarily stop, because it’s the same situation when ugly women do not exist. Stupid men, by the way, too. All such darlings, the Bunny and the seals that it is unclear how it was possible for so many years wrinkle his nose in the aesthetic Universe of rejection. However, Weights in the morning I think of how they managed domitia to brotherhood with man from the threshing-crushing College becomes unbearably ashamed. But then in the morning.

Scorpio

Scorpio gets exactly to the state of courage, and then abruptly slows down, continuing to pour others, at the same time Jesuit whispering “I have a light hand.” He’s lying! Scorpions are very, very heavy hand, and they are extremely fond of neighing over how their victims are trying to stand up. If you plan to drink Scorpion specifically, for example, to drag him to bed or find some information, it is better to be shot immediately. Because he will say: “Yes, of course, but let’s first one, I’ll pour, I’ve got the touch”. And then – Yes – Leningrad, an elderly teacher and a kind man in a black hat. Drink with Scorpions is possible only to those who dreams of becoming a star of the u-tube.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius alcoholic. Or a teetotaler. Because Sagittarius life is a failure. Managed. Do not understand how to drink with Sagittarius. In the first case, not enough health. In the second case, you will die of boredom about half of the lectures about the dangers of consuming alcohol solutions. But whatever it was, hitting the table with Sagittarius, do as he says. Arguing with him is bad – it is either you shoot or be offended, and the latter is far worse.