Funny horoscope for 14 Feb 2018

2018-02-13 15:43

Funny horoscope for 14 Feb 2018
The stars know how to host a Valentine’s Day for representatives of the zodiacal circle.

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RAM

Available: Aries woman will show that she or anyone does not need. Do Self in the Spa, and will write a post in social networks that men is a universal evil. And so it will be genuinely happy if I get a huge bouquet from a stranger.

In relationships: will take the starring role: give a man an expensive gift, brings him to a restaurant and then show on hip tattoo with his name. And all for what? To favorite signed the oath (blood, of course!) Loyalties.

Taurus

Free: hopes that somewhere on white light has a relative who after his death will leave him a huge inheritance to Taurus woman could choose any man.

In relationships: considers February 14, the Western foolishness, but do not be offended if you get as a small token of a huge diamond rock.

Twins

Free: waiting for a holiday horror! And what if a longtime friend (or all at once!) Going to propose to her or live together? No, thank you, it is not yet ready, so the program-maximum is just a party where she can flirt with different guys.

In a relationship: what, already linked? Why nobody warned that it is already three years married? On this day, the girl Twin wants to go wild and show that she’s still a free bird. Alcohol, more alcohol – like in the good old days.

Cancer

Free: Valentine’s Day? Never heard of it. When she finally will understand why such a fuss about February 14, I’ll go to favourite coffee shop and eat alone the cake. Not with grief. Just have a reason to violate a strict diet.

In relationships: she has a plan A – to go to the holiday, a romantic trip. If your favorite is not will know in advance to buy tickets, then plan B is to sit together under the blanket. This scenario, by the way, she likes no less than a gondola ride.

Lion

Free: will do everything possible to deal with the former. He saw the unearthly beauty lost (the Lioness usually does not remember that she kicked him out). Let the parquet tears teeth to get her back.

In relationships: going with the indifferent facial expression to accept gifts and offerings, and on their basis to draw conclusions about whether a person is worthy of her love and that he was to give on February 23.

Deva

Free: as well that no one bothers to work! She has written a detailed career plan for the next ten years, and there is no room it all of a heart, a dinner together, Kissing. Ugh, how disgusting! A waste of precious time.

In relationships: will bring with work unfinished project sit at the computer. And then suddenly in lace lingerie and garter on the leg pull from under the bed and harvested the duck in oranges and candles. She has everything under control and everything is according to plan!

Scale

Free: girl-Libra believes that time is on her side. The longer she chooses, the higher the chances to meet a man who meets all of the hundred qualities in her list of “Ideal partner”. So on Valentine’s Day it celebrates its sanity, which does not allow her to make a fatal mistake and take.

In a relationship: she wants to see the sunrise and the sunset in the bed with your beloved, so will take the celebration on 14 February on a weekend, when nothing will prevent to implement her plan.

Scorpius

Free: this woman is preparing for February 14 as torture. She doesn’t like to be alone. Especially on a day like this! So she will walk with mournful face, to fish for compliments, to cry in the toilet and continually repeat to yourself: “Honey, someday this will end! It is necessary to suffer all day! That’s still 23 hours and 56 minutes.”

In relationships: she is a romantic, too, so she needs a Valentine’s Day at Hollywood script. So cliche and predictable (Breakfast in bed, rose petals on the floor, Fiddler on the roof, the helicopter to the entrance). But unless there are those who secretly dreams of.

Sagittarius

Free: the day she urgently needed a man and she will do everything possible to make it appear. Hang ads on doorways, register on Dating sites and Tinder, going on a few dates directly on Valentine’s Day, choose someone at night, and the next morning going to give him up. And let him not crying! He’s not her type, it happens.

In relationships: the one day of the year when she is ready to fulfill any erotic desire of her husband (not because he wants to please him, but because she wanted some kind of experiment, but did not want to take the initiative).

Capricorn

Free: loved ones will go crazy for this day, because the woman-Capricorn will destroy their complaints. She’s every going to stick with the question: “why am I so good one?”It is because nature

In relationships: the representative of this sign cherishes the fact that she has a beloved man, but somehow accidentally she always does ruin the day. That remark he would make, the gift will be judged. In General, check the sense of strength.

Aquarius

Free: it is in this status in the wild is almost nonexistent. Is female Aquarius someone to leave- as the next day she met some eligible bachelor. So if she anyone to mark February 14, exclusively on their own. Everyone needs a break!

In relationships: you have to pair all good, so you don’t need a special holiday to show their love and give gifts.

Pisces

Free: she call all my ex-Boyfriends to remind myself. The calculation is simple and naive: someone who is also lonely and wants heat. But usually this scenario ends badly: people just want the illusion of love for the evening, and the woman-Fish in a few hours time to fall in love again on the ears.

In relationships: waiting for a miracle – and it comes true. And not because her husband wrote her portrait, was invited by Elton John to visit or gave butterflies. She is glad that the sincere love.