How to get rid of insecurity

2018-03-04 23:22

How to get rid of insecurity
When a person experiences uncertainty in the forces, do not enjoy the achievements perfectionism is off the charts.

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“You could do better!” and often asks himself the question: “if I Deserve this job, this partner, this life?” it’s time to sound the alarm. Otherwise you can develop neuroses – this suspense is not easy to stay calm.

What is the imposter syndrome

The imposter syndrome is not a medical term, and the household definition used by psychologists. The non-recognition of their strengths, skills and abilities, the constant fear of failure, worrying thoughts that you are not in his place, and soon the surrounding “catch you” and will be hounded with posts from staff, families – all these daily torments the people who consider themselves to be “impostors”, reports Rus.Media.

Usually this problem appears in childhood, when parents raise the child in the spirit of “to be humble, not to get ahead of myself and not to show off”. When a child or teenager hears daily in his address: “be Quiet when adults are talking”, “Why 4 and not 5 for the test? Bad ready, then!”, “Don’t praise yourself, let the people praise” in the future, it is expected psychological difficulties.

Why self-doubt is dangerous

If time does not discard the negative feelings, “the pretender,” penetrates into all areas of your life, and to get rid of it will be very difficult. He will whisper in my ear that your ideal man and you don’t, therefore you are not worthy to be near her beloved. Then, maybe, we should move away from her beloved husband, until he noticed this and broke your heart? “The pretender” will be pointing the finger at your friends and smile:

“Look how obedient, not your bullies!”, and you start to doubt yourself: maybe I’m a bad mother? When you successfully close at work one of the projects, “the pretender,” let me remind you that there is nothing to be proud of, because a colleague in the Department this month completed three projects, therefore, to ask the chief prize was a bad idea. This list can be continued indefinitely.

Alexander – housewife. While her husband works at work, she does the housework. Every day women starts in 7 hours: you have to get up early to collect the kids to school, cook them Breakfast and drive to class. After that, a young mother rushes home to cook the soup and prepare the lazy cabbage rolls, who often asks her for dinner breadwinner. In parallel Aleksadr cleans the apartment for the children, who always throw their toys, and loads dirty linen into the washing machine. Then it comes time to pick up the kids, feed them dinner and take the evening section: son in football and daughter in drawing course. Woman coming home at 21:00, completely exhausted. But she always thinks she’s “not up” to their running friends. Because it is “just a housewife”.

Internal “the pretender,” Alexandra laughs and says that all her achievements – nonsense, and she doesn’t deserve any praise or gratitude. The picture is sad: you yourself are driving themselves into a trap, in your personal ad allegedly ripped off man and I refuse to benefit and joy from life.

Complications and consequences of uncertainty

The imposter syndrome, like any other neurotic disorder, can cause serious consequences and complications. First, what face people with the fear of success is perfectionism. They are trying to do what is beyond their strength and abilities, so there’s no doubt in competence. Such “impostors” are the real dictators in the team. People rush from one extreme to another, often change their line of conduct. Such destructive behavior self-destructive personality.