I stopped wanting the man she loved. What to do?

2017-05-11 15:06

I stopped wanting the man she loved. What to do?
You have not slept all night because he could not break away from each other.

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And now you hope what’s on TV this late will show some match or the husband is working late – just not came to sex! Where did your desire? And if it can be returned?

There are several answers to the question, why don’t you feel the excitement. Firstit is unlikely you’ll like it, but sometimes the truth is necessary. Here it is: you don’t want to have sex not at all, but with this man, reports Rus.Media.

Psychologists say that “just sex” doesn’t exist: normal, not prone to psychopathy important to people is intimacy with a specific person. This means that you’re less likely to want someone who is not attracted to you as a person. The person who ceased to arouse admiration, respect or even human interest. How can I change this? To ask my husband to do all the things that you charmed at the stage of courtship, and to see him with new eyes. Or rather, old ones that you saw him when you first met. It will be difficult for the common life you have probably accumulated a lot of grievances and complaints, you have destroyed many illusions. But if you take it off the “husk”, then it will be under the person who can attract you again and again.

Here’s the second reason. The problem is not one of you, and how are relations at all. Esther Perel, a well-known psychotherapist and author of “Breeding in captivity”, is convinced that sexual desire is directly related to the distance that is maintained between the partners. We all tend to want what does not belong to us, and to lose interest available. Esther advises men to keep a healthy psychological distance, not “merge”. They should have their own interests and Hobbies, spend time with your friends, leave else the right to secrets and time in the schedule for which you can not report. So they will be independent individuals who choose to be together every day. In itself sounds exciting, right?

John Gottman, an American psychologist and the author of many books on relations, holds a different point of view on passion. According to the Professor, her fire is not quenched only in the ultimate intimacy between partners. Loving spouses should throw all forces on it, not to hide their own vulnerability. They must learn to access another’s feelings despite the fear of being rejected or misunderstood. Need to discuss what is scary or uncomfortable to think about, to wonder about other’s feelings and care about them as their own. In General, to reduce the inner distance. This concept is not similar to the theory of Esther Perel, and you have to check for yourself which one suits your pair. Or try to combine them into one: keep physical distance with maximum intimacy.

The third answer to the question about why you don’t want sex is connected with biology. Maybe it’s the low level of the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for sexual desire in women, or fatigue at work or the birth of a child, and even General apathy. To find the specific cause to help the doctor. And while you pass the examination, try to relax means available — physical activity (yoga or workout wear — take your pick), meditation or calming exercises, pampering experience during which someone who cares about your body — it helps to recover contact with itself. Eat foods rich in fiber, folic acid and vitamin B12. Try a dietary Supplement with natural ingredients.

As you can see, the situation is “not want her lover can change, and in several ways at once. The main thing is to make sure that you remain feeling. With the rest of you can do it.