Relationships between parents and teens under the magnifying glass

News 17 December, 2017
  • Elisa Cloutier

    Sunday, 17 dec 2017 00:00

    UPDATE
    Sunday, 17 dec 2017 00:00

    Look at this article

    The Newspaper went to the meeting of parents and adolescents to better understand their reality in 2017.

    That is what has changed and what is it that their graves to each other on the nerves ?

    The parents interviewed by The Journal say they have lived an adolescence “more strict” and believe they are now more open with their children than their parents were with them at the time.

    However, they do tell you not too strong, but several parents have admitted to having lived an adolescence much “more flyée” as that of their children. The new generation is today’s interconnected permanently. More need to come out to meet. Most of their social life ends up in their hands, on their phone. A normality for teens, which is obviously still not understood by the parents.

    Despite all, one thing has not changed over the generations : adolescents and household chores are still not good bedfellows !

    “My mother knows my entire life”

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    Julie Leblanc, 44, and her daughter Rosalie Bouchard, a 14-year-old, are true accomplices. My mom made proof of a great openness of spirit, while his girl is not shy to say that his mother knows ” all his life “.

    What I like

    “We have a really good relationship, I tell him everything and she knows all my life. “

    “My mother did not dress old, she is not old either. “

    — Rosalie

    “My daughter is reasonable in the parties and it is that fact that I have confidence in it. “

    “Rosalie is always in humour, it is I who is broken check marks and she tries to make me laugh, she always managed to turn it into silliness. “

    “She really has a big heart. She is always ready to help her friends, no matter the circumstances. “

    — Julie

    Me on my nerves

    “She often tells me that she has problems with her cell phone, an app that doesn’t work, or she does not know how to remove it, but I tell him that this is not the cell the problem, this is it!! “

    — Julie

    “My mother is not cogne not before entering my room. She opens the door and does not close behind it. Or, if she enters and the light is closed, it opens the door, the light and leave without anything close ! “

    — Rosalie

    “In front of my friends, she tries to be cool, she said like : “get to bed not too late the young” and she said business like, “I’m cool”. But, at the same time, it’s not so bad, because of the time I’ll be with friends, and the parents are really annoying ! “

    — Rosalie

    “Rosalie is very spontaneous and has no filter. We must tell him to turn his tongue seven times before speaking. “

    — Julie

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “Sometimes, my mother tells me that my clothes do not go together, but I must tell him : “mom, this is the fashion”. “

    — Rosalie

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “I have no problem with that [the parties], even if youth bring alcohol, I like to know better. We also speak openly about the drugs, but I know that it’s not interesting. “

    — Julie

    “SOMETIMES IT TAKES HIM OUT TO THE NOSE”

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    Gabriel Tremblay, 14 years old, and his mother Sonia Boulet, 46 years old, also have a good communication, even if it sometimes takes out the worms from the nose to the adolescent, rather introverted. In spite of everything, she acknowledges many in his boy, who likes to be surrounded by people, but who also appreciates moments of solitude.

    What I like

    “Cooking is not really my thing, it is my mother who makes me my lunches. “

    — Gabriel

    “At school it’s going super well, he is doing his homework and the notes are there. “

    “He helps me often with the manual work to the exterior. “

    — Sonia

    Me on my nerves

    “Let’s assume that the bin is full, it will simply move to the side. They need to be told ! It begins to improve by hand, but if you went in his room, probably you’d do a jump ! “

    — Sonia

    “Sometimes, she buys me clothes that she would like that I wear, but I don’t want to put them. Especially the pants, she bought the colors and styles that I don’t like. “

    “I’ll put away a bit of my room. I sometimes help my mother with the outside work, but not that much. My mother surely would like to as I do more. “

    — Gabriel

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “Often, they will talk between them, but each in their room. They play online video games. They will probably talk all night, what we didn’t necessarily, but we, we used to go out a lot more. “

    — Sonia

    “When you make parties, it is true that most of the time it is on our phone. Often, we would order a pizza and watch movies. “

    — Gabriel

    “MY MOTHER IS STILL VERY COOL

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    The relationship between Maude Blondeau, aged 18 years, and his mother, Nathalie Bourassa, 50 years old, is very open, while the mother says it is quite permissive. Even if Maude had reached the age of majority, Nathalie feels that she is currently living in a ” small crisis of adolescence “.

    What I like

    “My mother is not evil open. She lets me do parties and she goes to sleep elsewhere. I know that this is not all parents who do it ! “

    “My mother is very open, my boyfriend can come home to sleep and I know that there are some parents where it is more complicated. “

    — Maude

    “I find that I have more of a place in the life of Maude that my parents were in the mine at the time. Now, there are more discussions. “

    “I am proud that my daughter has chosen a profession a little less traditional [3D animation]. “

    — Nathalie

    Me on my nerves

    “My mother is the worst, I’ve never seen a mother too mother hen ! She is worried when I go outside. She asks me if I have a lunch, if I have something to eat and she also asked if my boyfriend had anything to eat ! “

    “She told me what time I go to bed, even if the next day I was just a class at 10 am ! “

    “I really try to do in my household, but I lack all the time time ! I really don’t have the time to do it it looks like. Before, I was doing nothing, and it tannait, but now, I try to do a little more. “

    “It seems that my mother forget about my stories. She often asks me to repeat, I have to start from the beginning, this is bastard ! “

    — Maude

    “In high school, she was more quiet, but since she joined the cégep in the past year we’ve seen a piercing, a tattoo, she dresses a bit grungy. She said more also, and can claim more “.

    “He needs to make callbacks to the household, but, I’m telling myself that it doesn’t always repeat, that, one day, it goes back in order. But, currently, it picks up two days, and then the mess again “

    — Nathalie

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “My mother makes me often comment on my style of dress, but I know that she dressed like me, a bit grungy, not at my age. “

    — Maude

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “Young people have many more career opportunities compared to us. We did not really our job, the job market was extremely difficult. “

    — Nathalie

    “MY MOTHER IS CARING AND LISTENING, It IS MY CONFIDANT”

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    Laurence Lambert, 16 years old, and his mother Nathaly Guimont, 45 years, are very close to one another. For Laurence, her mother is her confidant. However, adolescence Laurence is much more “sedentary” than that of his mother, who recalls that she left much more to be with her friends in the evenings and on the weekend.

    What I like

    “I don’t have the impression that Laurence sees me as I saw my mother. It was a figure of authority. Now, I have the impression of being more close to her, and she has more ease in confiding in me that I had to entrust me with my mother. “

    “I love that she confides in me like that, she tells me lots of things, I am privileged to be his confidante. “

    “Laurence has a heart that is huge and she has a great listening. “

    — Nathaly

    “We talk a lot. One often goes to a restaurant or shop together, one of the outputs of girls as she calls them. “

    “My mother’s kitchen, because for me, in the kitchen, I’m not really good ! “

    — Laurence

    Me on my nerves

    “The household tasks, it is necessary that I remind him of. Sometimes, she will take the initiative when she sees that the dishwasher is empty, but otherwise, most of the time, his bedroom door closed ! “

    “Sometimes, it is I who say to you : go to the party ! I push it a little and I tell him that it doesn’t bother me to go and look for it. It seems that today’s young people are often at home, their social life is happening in the school and on their cell phones. “

    “She is in panic mode quickly. She didn’t think it out, and I must tell him : “OK, we are going to apply the law of : inspire, expire, and repeat as needed”. “

    — Nathaly

    “She tries to make her funny. For example, the other day we were in a car with one of my friends and she started to sing Eminem. I was a little uncomfortable ! “

    “My mother thinks that I put too much cotton fleece, she would like that I am more feminine. “

    — Laurence

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “I’m not embarrassed, I talk about everything with my mother. “

    — Laurence

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    “The mothers of today are much younger character according to me. We are closer to our teens our mothers were. “

    — Nathaly

    “I AM PROUD THAT HE WAS MY FATHER”

    Photo Jean-Francois Desgagnes

    Admitting that he had a “pass” more difficult ” a few years ago with his father, Joshua Moreno, 17 years, now has a very good relationship with him. Arrived in Quebec in 1984 with his mother, Ruben Moreno, 45, admits that the teenage years of his son is much more introverted than his own. However, his recent appearance on the show The Voice last spring and has done a lot to grow and has made more mature, ” he says.

    What I like

    “My father, I find it admirable. I’m really glad that he was my father. “

    “I’ve done parties at home and my parents were there. It has always been very open. My friends know my parents. This does not bother me to have a drink of alcohol, they like to know better. “

    — Joshua

    “My guys, this is a natural magnet, it is reserved, but it seems that all the world comes to him, he is loved throughout the world. “

    “I’ve never had to push it for it to work. He has a job since the age of 15 years. “

    “I don’t know where he has taken his side artist, this is definitely not me ! But, I am proud of the support there. We have been to all the shows of the show. I couldn’t believe how good it was. “

    — Ruben

    Me on my nerves

    “I think that my father tries to give one side tough, but that doesn’t really work. My father, he was worried about. If it’s been several hours that I’m out, it goes to me texting. If there is not a lot to the house a week, we text [he and his sister] to tell us that he loves us. “

    “I made a lot of comments when he embarked with me in the car. It stresses me out so much ! When I got on the highway, he said to me : “speeds up or you’ll make yourself hit it and we will all die !” It is full of drama ! “

    — Joshua

    “They need to be told to the household, since it leaves a lot hanging. It is necessary to put a password if you want the dishwasher is empty, otherwise it does not happen ! “

    “With its 17 years old and his 6 feet something, he thinks he holds the truth, but no. And sometimes, he gets angry. It is quite likely. I am very playful with him, but I tell him : do not take you seriously when this is not the time, because you’re going to make you pick it up ! “

    — Ruben

    “I admit that at times, I’m a little soft. I think I’m the father hen in effect. I’m trying to improve myself, but this is not easy ! “

    — Ruben

    “I cook not bad as my father. In fact, he says he can cook, but it makes the BBQ in the summer ! “

    — Joshua