Try this simple trick, when you next time someone is upset or angry – Rus.Media
Try this simple trick, when you next time someone is upset or angry
Once you do – you will feel a huge relief and comfort like never before.
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From time to time people disappoint us. “Company” here motley: it could be your brother, mother, father, partner, colleague, boss or someone else with whom you have encountered in the subway or in the doctor’s office. This inevitably leads to what we feel irritation, frustration, and then just exit itself, reports Rus.Media.
The frustration arises from the contradictions, misunderstandings, and very often because of the reluctance of one party to understand and feel what another is experiencing. But this fact does not change: we feel frustrated and irritated.
The saddest thing is that our frustrations and disappointments do not affect the “culprit”. Most often, he did not even realize. But with us, these emotions will play a cruel joke: they will eat away at us and torment, a pain in the ass. Every time. Always.
Now you understand why it is so important to know how to cope with disappointment and frustration. Because every time when you hurt only yourself and no one else. Fortunately, there is a wonderful technique that helps in such cases. To master them – simple.
“To blame someone is a waste of time. That would not have made the other person say anything and it would not have hurt you that you would not feel the charges will not change anything. The only reason you’re accusing someone is an attempt to shift the blame on other people for our unhappiness or disappointment” — Casey Stengel.
Several years ago I experienced a similar situation: he was upset, accused, annoyed. Then I applied a few simple exercises which were very effective. By the way, they are based on the principles of meditation.
So when you next time someone upsets you just do these three steps:
1. To be transported mentally to a place where nobody will disturb you.
So, first take a few minutes to imagine yourself somewhere far, far away, in a great location with amazing views. Transport yourself there mentally. Feel it. No there does not bother you. Not annoying. Not sick. Does not stick. This is your little space where no one in the whole world will not harm you. Such a tiny oasis of mental security.
2. Consider the real picture.
Now that you’re safe on your island, honestly admit to yourself that your frustration is caused solely by your perception of events and nothing else.
Everything we do, our life experiences – it all happens through a kind of filter. It includes such things as our personal biases, expectations and all that fills our mind in this period of time.
All this cannot but influence our perception of the situation. A conclusion yourself: in fact, the frustration caused by our personal perception and idea of the other person, which we think is upsetting us. But this does not necessarily actually happen, or happens exactly as you see it.
See also: Psychologists explain how to forgive and release those who’ve hurt!
3. To find out the cause.
Remember, what happened, why you were upset. Why did this happen? Do you have all the facts? Or is there something you have not considered? Perhaps the person you offended because, under stress, for whatever reasons, which may not tell you? Or she is very sick, and she is having to share with other troubles and attacks all in a row?
We often judge what is happening in your life, as if we know absolutely all the facts, even the most secret. Actually the whole picture we don’t see almost never. Even if truth is on your side, think about the conflict from the point of view that you don’t know half of the facts about this man and events. Perhaps there’s something you yourself can not even imagine.
Clear all to see
Once you do – you will feel a huge relief and comfort like never before. You don’t need the answers to the questions that so tormented before. Now, looking back at the incident, you’ll see a lot more scenarios of the incident than it was before. You will not notice, as your frustration and annoyance melt away like smoke.
There are a million reasons for our conflicts with other people. And in most cases we don’t even know nor understand. Although we believe in the time of the conflict, all the way around. To whom as not us to know who is right? (just kidding).
The next time you have someone “get” and you will be upset about this, take a minute to stop and do this miraculous trick. It is very simple and consists of only three steps. This will not only help you cope with your feelings, cope with disappointment, which eats you up, but will give you the strength to keep relations with other people. It’s worth it, believe me.
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