Flirting or harassment: the difference, in 20 situations

News 21 October, 2017
  • Photo Fotolia
    Put his hand on the shoulder of a colleague without his consent may enroll in a course of conduct of harassment if the act is repeated.

    Marie-Eve Dumont and
    Anne Caroline Desplanques

    Saturday, 21 October, 2017 08:00

    UPDATE
    Saturday, 21 October, 2017 08:00

    Look at this article

    Are you sure you know the difference between seduction, attitude, moved, harassment, or assault ? The Journal offers put in a situation to learn how to sail in this area sometimes grey, thanks to notice Me Katherine Poirier, lawyer in labour law, partner at Borden Ladner Gervais, sexologist François Renaud and Marianne Plamondon, counselor in human resources at Norton Rose Fulbright scholar and president of the College. Of note, our fictitious examples are people who have relationships strictly professional and not work colleagues who would have become intimate friends.

    Do you offer a subordinate or a new intern in your company go for a drink after work.

    • Grey area

    “It is always possible to propose a meeting to get to know someone, discussing a subject, business project, it can be friendly without being moved” – Marianne Plamondon

    “The problem is that in a relationship of authority, it is more difficult to know whether the consent is genuine. The trainee may feel uncomfortable to refuse. This in itself is not harassment, but can be conducive to in the future ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You do a massage on the neck and shoulders of a colleague without having asked his consent before.

    • Moved

    “We do not mass people suddenly if we do not maintain a relation of friendship, it can be very intrusive. If one really wants to be altruistic, it is better to ask the person if he or she wants before you do it ” – François Renaud

    You call systematically to a colleague, ” my beautiful “.

    • Grey area

    “It is a question of context. This in itself is not offensive or derogatory, but there are people for whom it is infantilizing, while others enjoy the fraternal relationship that it establishes ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    “If the person you had already said that she didn’t like to be called as well, and that this is in addition to other behaviors, it can become harassment” – Marianne Plamondon

    You’re reviewing systematically the attire of a colleague.

    • Grey area

    “It depends on what is being said. If I comment the choice of shoe to a person or that I tell him that the yellow fits him well every time she puts, this is not the same thing as if my comments deal with the look of his body in his clothes or the fact that they generate ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    A colleague stick behind you in front of the photocopier.

    • Aggression

    “It is a physical approximation rather intimate. If this is not requested, it is an aggression ” – François Renaud

    You put it subtly, once more, the hand on the thigh of your neighbor’s table at a meeting. She shifts slightly in his chair, but said nothing.

    • Moved by way of HARASSMENT

    “It is an event that is not appropriate, who may enroll in a course of conduct of harassment if repeated” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You send by e-mail quotes from the novel to taste the erotic Fifty Shades Of Grey to a colleague every morning.

    • Moved

    “It may be that the person consents, that it is a way to make advances, but this is still not an appropriate behavior in the workplace” – Me Katherine Poirier

    Your boss summons in his office and greets you topless.

    • Harassment

    “It is a serious conduct, of the exhibitionism that can be considered harassment. A reasonable person does not expect that its boss is laid bare on her workplace ” – Marianne Plamondon

    You are viewing a picture of women topless in your office.

    • Harassment

    “This is an illustration of an act of harassment, even if it is not aimed at anyone in particular. This creates a climate of a sexual nature to see images that objectivent the woman. The people who come into the office may feel intimidated. It’s like an event of harassment ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You sing along with a colleague, a song of a sexual nature during a five-to-seven, looking with insistence of a colleague.

    • Moved

    “It is inappropriate in a professional context unless it is truly a joke among colleagues” – François Renaud

    “This in itself is not harassment, but it can lead to conduct that is harassing, if it is not desired” – Me Katherine Poirier

    A colleague offers to offer you a coffee in exchange for a kiss on the cheek.

    • Harassment

    “A favor in exchange for a touch is a behavior which can enter in a line of conduct of harassment. Even if this can seem to be just a joke, everyone does not have the same sense of humor. This can be received differently. This is tricky in the workplace ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You tap the buttocks of a colleague in the corridor.

    • Aggression

    “It is an act blatant : it is taking on the intimate parts of a person” – François Renaud

    A colleague offers to dance a slow at the Christmas party of the company.

    • Grey area

    “If this is the first time it is called, this is not, in theory, a gesture that moved. It is still necessary to say that a significant number of people meet their spouse in their work environment. However, it is not really appropriate to have slows in an office party, as it seeks a reconciliation between the people. In addition, if the person refused several times for the advances of colleague, this application may enroll in a course of conduct harassing ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You send a joke bitch in an e-mail addressed to all your colleagues.

    • Grey area

    “This can be moved in the workplace. It also depends on relationships between the employees ” – François Renaud

    “This joke can be part of conduct that is harassing, if it is denigration based on sex, and in a work environment. This is not the best idea ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You embrace force a co-worker on the mouth, then walk away.

    • Aggression

    “As there is the fact that we forced the kiss, therefore, there is no consent” – Me Katherine Poirier

    At a conference, your boss invites you to his hotel room to update a folder.

    • Grey area

    “It is risky, not necessarily appropriate, and may even be fishy, but it may be that there are no other options for work or to discuss certain topics” – François Renaud

    You touch it deliberately in the arm to the chest of a co-worker by showing him a folder.

    • Aggression

    “If there is an imposition of force, of constraint, that the touch is prolonged, this can be an assault” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You sit consistently in front of the same colleague in a meeting and caress her foot with yours under the table. He removes his foot.

    • Moved

    “This is a behavior which does not occur in the workplace. The person should come to you, but if this persists, it may fall in the harassment ” – Marianne Plamondon

    A colleague insists to kiss you on the mouth and take you in his arms for your birthday.

    • Harassment

    “Give her a kiss on the mouth, this is not a behavior culturally accepted among colleagues, among us, among people who are not intimate, if this is not desired. The kiss on the cheek has a sexual connotation less strong ” – Me Katherine Poirier

    You fill in once a subordinate on his appearance.

    • Grey area

    “It depends on the words that are used. If we speak of the body of the person, his sexuality, his lack of sexuality, sexual orientation, or if the words used are disparaging, we can consider that it is a conduct of harassment ” – Me Katherine Poirier