Negative person: ways of communicating
Negative person: ways of communicating
Being around negative people, we can literally feel how they pull out of us forces and energy. They hit us emotionally and verbally, make us feel uncomfortable, tense or on guard beside them all as if covering gray cloud of negativity..
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“Don’t destroy yourself by allowing negative people to pollute your identity, reputation and the desire of rubbish and debris. Hold to their desires and aspirations, but keep them close by, to the holders of languages venomous poison your poison only themselves” – Michael Bassi Johnson, “the Infinity Sign»
Negative people are something like “black holes” in deep space — they first appear around you from nowhere, and after trying to absorb all that surrounds them, turning everyone and everything into the likeness of himself. But no matter how negative they may be, it is extremely important (not just for your sake, but for their sakes too) do not succumb to their provocations, and to resolve the situation as more reasonable and correct manner.
First of all, we need to understand what makes people potentially negative. Being around negative people, we can literally feel how they pull out of us forces and energy. They hit us emotionally and verbally, make us feel uncomfortable, tense or on guard beside them all as if covering gray cloud of negativity… maybe they simply make you feel as if you get covered in mud. Well, if they can’t reach you, they are quite capable to wipe your feet on someone you care about, or something that you dearly.
So how do we deal with such people, not stooping to their level and respecting their humanity? It’s not easy because negative people do not simply envelop us with their negative energy, but also enjoying every flash of our anger and discontent aimed in their direction. When we try to respond to their actions in the same coin, we only throw fuel on the fire of their motivation.
Of course, we do not claim to create a universal solution to the problem that for all we are negative people. Moreover, this solution simply does not exist. However, we know that constructive communication and interaction with negative people who are not harming ourselves, it is still possible, and we hope that our article will help you in this case ungrateful.
So, below you will find 10 tips that will help you in dealing with negative people:
1. Don’t take their words to heart
We understand that it’s much easier to give this advice than trying to follow it, because sometimes negative people around us behave so ugly that we seem to be almost the embodiment of evil forces.
But still try to control myself, because taking the words and actions of negative people to heart, and answering them with their own negativity, you only worsen the situation, and the negative people like that. You can’t win this battle, because what you got involved in it, is already working against you.
2. Do not try to find a common language with them
A lot of people not happy about the conflict and try to avoid at all costs, even to their own detriment. That’s why people are influenced by negative behavior often try to find a common language with negative people. So: it’s useless. Negative people don’t want to find a common language with you, they want to throw to you as much mud in the hope to feel better.
So, it is possible that sooner or later they will be capable of rational conversation, but believe me, they will know about it in a much more constructive way.
3. They try to “reach out»
Not every negative person intentionally behaves negatively. It is possible that at some stage of his life, he just somehow took a negative view of the world. That is why, when seemingly nice people start over and over again to show negative behavior, it is very important to at least try to find words that can “reach out” to them.
Sometimes this approach is able to quickly sober up those who are unwillingly behaving negatively, forcing them to think about their actions, and realize that they offended you.
4. Show empathy
As we wrote above, not all people who behave negatively, do it intentionally. Try to look at it and understand whether they have reasons that could potentially cause them to behave in a similar way. When we find such reasons, the problems in his personal life, the stress associated with work, money problems, and so on and so forth, it becomes much easier to accept their behavior for what it really is and is a manifestation of the desperation and impulsiveness.
5. You distance yourself from them if need
If you are exposed to negative behavior on a regular basis, it can drain you, both emotionally and physically. We instinctively feel when someone pulls us far beyond our comfort zone. And if it starts to happen more and more often — well, you probably should at least temporarily rid yourself from society. We all have our limits, they should not be ashamed or ignore it.
Most often the negative behavior of a person can be caused by a distorted perception of the world around them. Sometimes the usual smile and friendly attitude can help you change this perception for the best — at least not much.
7. Behave like an adult
When we begin to accept the negative person as an obstacle in our path, or a threat to his society, we can easily “fall” as the children’s behavior, as he started to pour insults or take impulsive actions. To some extent this is a natural reaction, because frankly, no one likes the society of such people, but it is counterproductive as it only allows them to “turn around” even more.
8. Do not judge too harshly, especially if you do not know all the circumstances
Each of us lives his life, with its own set of circumstances, and sometimes negative people become so precisely because of their covers is extremely wide black stripe”. If we over-condemn such people, believing themselves much better/more correct/above them, even if we don’t talk about it directly, our behavior is screaming about it in full voice. Try to refrain from such judgments, no matter how attractive they seem, especially when trying to “defuse” created negative people the situation.
9. Set positive boundaries
We all have heard this simple but useful advice: “Control what you can control, and try not to worry about everything else.” So use it! Creating and maintaining itself around a positive environment it is quite difficult for you, especially since it brings you tangible benefits with frequent interaction with negative people. A positive environment not only protects you from negative energy, but also often helps them to feel more positive. And from positive attitude to positive actions, one step. So… at least, a positive environment will benefit yourself, as well as a maximum…
10. Be realists
As mostly we all tend to sympathize with others and care for them, often we want to somehow help people whose world view and attitude to life is much more pessimistic and negative than ours. However, it is important to remember that to help such people is possible only in case, if you do keep a positive Outlook on peace and optimism. And if all of your efforts roll with a negative person like water off a duck, and, moreover, his negative energy starts to poison your soul and mind… it’s possible that it’s time to say goodbye to him. Forever.
We understand that this recommendation may seem too harsh, but try to realize the simple fact — you can’t help everyone, no matter how you tried, but still can help a lot. Don’t let the adverse effects of one man to deprive you of this opportunity.