Our seniors are waiting for death only

Photo Hugo Duchaine
Suzanne Otis, aged 67 years, is doing puzzles in the living room of his apartment building to désennuyer. The elder lives alone and never gets to visit.

Hugo Duchaine

Saturday, 15 July, 2017 08:00

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Saturday, 15 July, 2017 08:00

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Ignored and forgotten, hundreds of seniors in Quebec die completely alone… If only we do sometimes find that a month later. A death unworthy, denounce experts, who are sounding the alarm about the growing problem of the isolation of older people.

One-third of Québec seniors live alone, often unable to get out of their apartment or their room in a CHSLD. “They never see anyone and no one is interested in their fate,” says the coroner Raynald Gauthier, who sees the urgency to act. The Journal spoke with four seniors who are living in solitude daily in order to shed light on this public health problem.

The coroner Gauthier has just published a devastating report on a 65 year-old female from Trois-Rivières, who was not in receipt of call or visit, whose death has been recorded that a month later, when a stench billowed out of its slot.

These sad cases are more rare, according to Mr. Gauthier. Moreover, the coroner’s office currently there are a hundred bodies of elders that have not been claimed.

“It’s a bit indecent to leave people to die at home without anyone noticing. “

This death, which nobody cares about, that’s the worst nightmare of Suzanne Otis, who lives alone in his small apartment in a HOUSING project in the borough of Mercier-Hochelaga-Maisonneuve, in Montreal.

“I’ve never visited, and I do not go out almost no. I would just like that someone brings me a ride home or to the restaurant, blowing out the sexagenarian, his eyes glued to the ground.

“Die before time “

“Quebec society has no idea of the magnitude of the problem […] We did not realize that it is a true suffering, it is said that boredom is, this is nothing next to the cancer, but it is like dying before the time “, denounces unequivocally the director-general of the organization of The Little Brothers, dedicated to the elders.

Photo: Martin Knight

Caroline Sauriol. Director-general of The Little Brothers

According to Caroline Sauriol, isolation is a very real illness. “This is something that happens to us, it falls on the thread of grief and loss “, she explains, giving the example of a hip broken force a senior to move.

“This is not because they wanted to “, she insists, about this public health problem that threatens especially the women, as they live older.

“The government can not replace families,” says the minister of Health Gaétan Barrette, ensuring at the same time that his government is interested in the problem.

“The isolation, it begins with the isolation of his own family,” notes the former doctor. The numbers of visits in NURSING homes, he said, are ” not very high “.

There are already a quantity of “impressive” of volunteers, he says, and dozens of programs funded by the government. For the coroner Gauthier, it needs to be promoted and funded, because time is of the essence to counteract the isolation of Quebec that are still more likely to live longer.

As harmful as obesity and tobacco

Dementia, STROKE and malnutrition faced by seniors living alone. Yet, despite these dangers real, the loneliness is too often trivialized, say experts.

As harmful as obesity or smoking 15 cigarettes per day, according to american studies, the loneliness, however, is not the subject of as much awareness raising and prevention in the province, complain to the experts.

Photo DIDIER DEBUSSCHERE

André Tourigny. Doctor

“There are a lot of attitudes and beliefs on it. The common of the mortals and even the people from the network [of health] may believe that this is normal, as you age, be socially isolated, but this is not and we must fight against it, ” says Dr. André Tourigny, of the national Institute on aging and the social participation of seniors (IVPSA).

Not only the rate of mortality is higher among the elderly who are alone, but it is also a risk factor for abuse, leaving them vulnerable to abuse or fraud.

The geriatrician David Lussier believes that ” much more could be done to get isolated seniors out of their homes “.

Loss of autonomy

“What we want to avoid the most in getting older, it is the loss of autonomy, and isolation is a risk factor, because the less it is stimulated, the more there are chances of having memory loss,” continues the doctor.

There is also a risk of malnutrition.” If it is isolated, often least we’ll eat well, because it is less challenging to eat only one, ” he says.

The doctor adds that poverty may also prevent an elder move or participate in activities. It also requires an efficient transport and affordable.

But above all, we need to combat ageism, believes André Tourigny, who said that the company does not have a good image of ageing.

An elder needs to feel that he can participate in the social and community life, supports the expert.

 

She never thought to live so long… all alone

Vincenza Delisi says it is lucky to have any his head to 97 years, but finds the time long

Photo Hugo Duchaine

Fabyola Stiven (left) and Vincenza Delisi (right) meet just for a chat every week. This is the only tour that gets to be the eldest and there was nothing medical.

Aged 97 years, Vincenza Delisi has buried all his relatives. Never the eldest of Laval was never thought to live so long, alone and confined to a wheelchair.

“I’m sitting here in the morning to the evening, and I look at the walls,” says Mrs. Delisi, divided between anger and boredom. The most frustrating thing, she said, is that it is still in his head despite his age.

A widow since 20 years and without a child, this Italian outspoken has long managed to keep an active life with her friends and family. But everything has gone up in smoke, four years ago, when she broke her hip.

“It has killed everything, when I got crippled “, let it fall, muffling his sobs.

Ms. Delisi said that she was in the hospital when a woman pressed him hanging on the two feet with the walker she was carrying.

She had to resign himself to leaving the residence for seniors where she lived for a few years, since she did not have the appropriate services for his wheelchair.

“I found it hard,” she says about her move. Uprooted and far away from the friends that she frequented, Vincenza Delisi spell now so rarely, that it is not even clear in which district of Laval it resides.

Anywhere alone

“I can’t go nowhere alone, it always takes someone to push me. I can take paratransit, but still, it takes me to someone and that is to find this person, ” says his nineties, who wants nothing more than to spend a morning wandering the aisles of Walmart.

And then, even if she has nephews and nieces, she said, they all work and they are busy.

“At the age I am, it is hard to find new friends, everyone is younger than me,” said the one who was surprised that it could soon blow out 100 candles.

This loneliness that smothers is new for Ms. Delisi, who has worked for 20 years at Eaton’s store, surrounded by women. She stopped when her husband, who worked for the Canadian Pacific, has retired, and preferred that she stay home with him.

Unable to have children, she and her husband have made the tour of several monasteries and convents to adopt a child, but the stars were not aligned. The father of Mrs. Delisi has also lived for 15 years with the couple before dying.

It was after the death of her husband, gone too soon, in just three days in 1998, that Ms. Delisi has discovered the body of The Little Brothers. She loved the dinners in a group or organized trips to Oka in which she participated frequently.

Today, it is a volunteer organization that comes to it, once per week, to brighten his days.

She finds her grandmother

Fabyola Stiven visit once per week Vincenza Delisi for more than two years, and the young woman found in her, the grandmother she has never known.

“This is the first time that I have a bond with someone older, because I’ve never been close to my grandparents,” says the 32-year old woman.

Of haitian descent, Ms. Stiven was born in Quebec, while his grandparents have always stayed away from it on the Caribbean island.

It is precisely to address this need that she has chosen The Little Brothers, when she was required to do volunteer work. “I wanted to help and contribute, and it called me out “, said the accountant.

Coup de foudre

This was like a bolt of lightning between Fabyloa Stiven and Vincenza Delisi. “At the beginning, one is not paired, because they’re trying to we match with people who have the same personality, but this is the first I’ve talked to and it just clicked,” she continued.

“She is very nice Fabyola,” says Ms. Delisi nodding her head.

About once a week, Ms. Stiven visit his “old friend” and no topic is taboo for two women. They discuss politics and religion without a detour.

Integration

“It is of Italian origin, 97 years old, and me of haitian origin now, but there are points in common on the integration here,” she said.

With Fabyola Stiven, Mrs. Delisi has also found a listening ear. “There are young people who like to hear us talk about and who want to know how it was in the old time, but on the other it does not interest them,” said elder.

She feels less alone with his dog

Photo Hugo Duchaine

Ginette Senecal holds in his hands his little terrier white called Poupoune.

If Ginette Sénécal feel less alone for a few months, it is thanks to Poupoune, the small terrier white, who now shares his life.

“I’m not talking about any one and it makes me someone to be pampered “, lance laughing, the woman 66-year-old, who lives in a HOUSING project to the East of the island of Montreal. Even if she did not follow the advice of a physician, through the acquisition of a dog, several experts recommend it to seniors who are isolated.

Moving

Ms. Senecal has moved to Montreal five years ago, after having lived a long time in the Lanaudière region, where she has combined the jobs of safety officer and auxiliary aid to children in difficulty.

Even if it has chosen the city for its services of proximity, it still feels too often limited. Suffering from chronic osteoarthritis, long walks are impossible.

“I could take paratransit, but I don’t want to run in circles for an hour at the Jean Coutu waiting for it to come back looking for me “, she says.

She goes to the grocery store in a taxi, for example, but it also comes to the demand for a scooter to take a little walk in his neighborhood.

Because otherwise, she occupies her days by playing various small games on the computer to pass the time. “Life is boring “, recognizes it just.

She often speaks to his daughter and his two granddaughters, but as they live in Granby, she sees them three times a year approximately. “They are busy, with school, work and home, I understand,” says Ms. Senecal.

This is not a coincidence that she called her little dog Poupoune. It is the nickname that she gave to her granddaughters and it is somehow their absence, that the animal comes a little close.

An invitation to dinner would change her life

Everything that wishes to Suzanne Otis, is that you invite him to dinner…

Not every night, just every once in a while. But this kind of invitation, the eldest daughter of 67-year-old the account each year on the fingers of one hand. Just like the visits and the calls that she receives at home.

“It happens that I do speak to anyone all day “, she says candidly.

Its only output, she said, are to go to the grocery store and to mass once a week.

For the past six years, she has a small apartment in a HOUSING project in the borough of Mercier–Hochelaga-Maisonneuve. Even in his vast building, surrounded by other tenants, Mrs. Otis often feels invisible.

To pass the time, she knits or she is doing puzzles in the living room of his apartment building. In the evenings, these are the players of the Canadian, or the prisoners of Unit 9 which take the company in front of his television.

“On the weekends, I see people around who leave in their families, but me I stay alone “, she noted reluctantly.

An orphan since many years, she has two brothers, who live far from Montreal, and a few cousins.

Family remote

She is lucky if she managed to see them once a year. But she does want them not to as much. “They all have their family, their life, I understand,” said Ms. Otis.

“I spent the Holidays alone, I’ve had a lot of misery to find a place where to go. My cousin I was received at her home, but just two weeks after, ” she continued.

The sexagenarian does not have a large network of friends. “Rather, it is knowledge “, describes it. She has lived all her life on welfare benefits, preventing it from building relationships with work colleagues, for example.

It is part of the montfortian Associates to the shrine of Mary-Queen-of-hearts, where she met some of her knowledge, she calls on occasion, but ” not very long “.

Low-income

The summer allows him to move more easily. Problems arthritis and balance, forcing her to walk with a cane, but in the winter, with the ice, or when it is raining, she still has a fear of falling.

“I take taxis, but I can’t go too far, because it is not necessary that it costs me too dear “, she explains.

His low income also prevents them from having access to the internet on his old laptop, which to him is just to play a few games to pass the time.

Still independent and in fairly good health, she is not afraid of dying soon, even if it often has the feeling of dying of boredom.

The wheels are on the watch

Photo Hugo Duchaine

Viviane Dubé is made to deliver a meal for meals on wheels five days per week.

When Pierre Renaud delivers meals for the meals on wheels of Laval, it is often the only visit that is going to receive an elder of his entire day.

“A little madam puny me has already asked him to render service. She handed me a bottle of eye drops she was not capable of open, and then said to me “you made my day”, ” remembers with emotion the police officer to the retired 69-year-old.

He delivers every Tuesday aboard his Hyundai Santa Fe, the meal of the volunteer Service of mutual support Vimont-Auteuil (SBEVA). With its approximately 150 dinners every day, it is one of the largest wheels in the province.

To the director of the SBEVA, Linda Forget, the deliverers of meals as Pierre Renaud then become ” the eyes of the family and health services “.

Thus, each delivery box contains a number to call in case of emergency, if an elder does not answer the door or seems more confused than usual.

No close

“It happened that a person knocked on the door and didn’t hear an answer. She entered and she found the eldest to the ground unconscious “, she says. After you have called 911, are the ones who are contacted.

“But it happens that there is no close the file, then called the CISSS “, explained Ms. Forget.

This last remark more and more seniors only, who feel isolated, even if they live in large residential towers.

This is why Pierre Renaud takes at least five minutes with each person to whom he delivers meals, a soup and a dessert.

Solitude

83-year-old Viviane Dubé is a resident of a center for elders of Laval, who received a meal five days per week.

A widow for 30 years, it ensures that the reading and the tv prevent get bored, just like her two sisters that she meets them more often.

“When I want to see the world, I go down to the bottom “, she says.

However, she feels a certain solitude, because of his health. “I lack the capacity,” she admitted, not feeling the strength to participate in the group activities.

 

Wait for the phone to ring

Germaine Babin, 82 years old, was always afraid to disturb his relatives

Photo Hugo Duchaine

Germaine Babin was lost, there was nearly a year ago, a friend with whom she was rare outings, such as going to Versailles. It has not set foot since.

Germaine Babin looks sometimes his phone and hope he goes off, just to have someone to talk to for five minutes.

“Sometimes it’s annoying, I cry more often than my turn,” says the eldest daughter of 82-year-old, who can go entire days without talking to anyone.

The one who describes himself as ” a real old maid “, living alone for 30 years in the same apartment of a co-operative of Hochelaga-Maisonneuve in Montreal.

A native of Saguenay-Lac-Saint-Jean, she has always lived with his parents, even when she was working as a switchboard operator by telephone or at the post office.

She followed them to Montreal when they had a desire to live in the city at the retirement. She has a brother who lives in Laval and a sister, who is still in the Saguenay.

Ms. Babin knows she could pick up the phone and call them, but she was always afraid to disturb her.

“I am made of the same,” she said, shrugging his shoulders. Same thing for his neighbors that it interacts with at the meetings of the cooperative.

“I find I have the air niaiseuse […] I’ll talk to them about what. They discuss their children, their work buddies that they no longer have and they want to have, and me… “, let it fall, lowering his eyes, unable to find something to tell about his life.

Germaine Babin finds his daily life among the four beige walls of his apartment rather redundant.

“What I did 50 years ago, it interested you ? “wondered she, too reserved to ask the question.

Death

With age, the social network is dwindling year by year, as noted by Ms. Babin. She had a friend she liked to go to the Place Versailles shopping. But since the death of the latter, in the month of August, she has not set foot in the mall.

His problems in the hips the confine also to his home because, during days of rain or snow, she is afraid of falling and getting hurt, especially because she no longer has a family doctor for the past five years.

The CLSC, she said, is unable to recruit new ones. A chance, she says, that the pharmacy has renewed his prescription for his diabetes medication, but she has no follow-up.

Willing to pay 90 $/hr for a cuddle

Photo Hugo Duchaine

Cindy Kennedy, a widow, aged 59 years, sits on the lap of Hasnain Bashir, in which she has discovered cuddling with a gift of his daughter.

Elders feel that if only they are willing to pay up to $ 90 and more than 100 kilometers of road, only to receive a hug.

“This is something natural which everyone needs, but in our society we all have our bubble and it is taboo to touch another person. There is a lack of affection, ” observes the founder of the business CuddleMe, Hasnain Bashir.

Respiratory therapist at McGill university health Centre, it is the loneliness of the patients they saw on a daily basis that gave him the idea of starting his own business, in December 2014.

Vermont

Last year, the man of 30 years and the four “câlineuses” who work with him have received 150 clients, half of whom are seniors.

“Lately, we have been a client of the 75 years of Vermont, in the United States,” says Mr Bashir. The eldest isolated was the road and paid 90 $ to extend to an hour on a sofa next to him in a small apartment, Rosemont rented for these meetings.

The rules are clear, assured Mr. Bashir : any sexual advance is prohibited. Hugs are just dressed, and good personal hygiene is non-negotiable.

Sometimes, clients just want someone to talk to without feeling judged, ” he adds.

This is the case of Cindy Kennedy, a retired 59-year-old and a widow for nine years, which is sometimes ” the long winter “.

“It’s good to talk to someone who is there to listen to you, that you don’t have to impress,” she said, lying on a sofa, her head resting on the knees of Hasnain Bashir, who stroked her hair.

It is his daughter who he initially offered a gift certificate of CuddleMe, knowing that the fifty-year-old was bored at times in his wide tour of the housing stock in the west of the island.

Now, Ms. Kennedy offers hugs ” from time to time “.

If the customer CuddleMe was originally mostly made up of seniors, Hasnain Bashir is now seen more and more people aged 25 to 45 years of age, especially men.

“People are alone, he says, even if they have Facebook or a cell phone, people do talk more. “

Elsewhere in the world

Indigenous peoples

Aboriginal elders are often perceived as of great sages, who offer good advice to the younger generations. If, however, ageism does not affect the First Nations, the living conditions, often in isolated reserves pose a different challenge for the elderly who often lack the care, as often denounced by the experts.

Brazil

Even companies where the seniors lived usually with their children in turn, stresses the anthropologist specializing in aging, Annette Leibing. She is currently in Brazil, where the elderly are often placed in centres. But with women working and smaller apartments in urban, it became increasingly difficult to keep their aging parents at home.

France

Since 2004, a law requires that children have towards their parents. This act saw the light of day following a heatwave that has killed thousands of people, while the hospitals were outside and that children remained indifferent to the plight of seniors. A French may be guilty of neglect if he fails to ensure the health and safety of his parents.

Italy

The anthropologist Annette Leibing, University of Montreal note that companies value more old age than Quebec. For example, the Italians have a lot of respect for ” nonna “, the grandmother and matriarch of the family that often leads to very large in the decisions.

Japan

It is not uncommon for parents to live with their children all their lives. In several asian countries such as Japan, but also China or India, the mentality is commonly believed that children take care of their parents. In Japan, there are also smart phones for seniors with bigger characters, such as the posters of some shops. However, since the tradition is that the parents remain with their children, it may run out of resources as our NURSING homes. The anthropologist in montreal Annette Leiping cites the example of a friend asian who has had to return to his country to live with her father too old to stay alone.

South korea

For the Korean people, aging is an celebration. Moreover, when a person reaches the age of 60 years, a large feast is held. With the aging of the population, the 70es and 80es birthdays are now celebrated in a big way.

Of the solutions already in motion

A bike, a city

Photo courtesy

Located in some of montreal’s boroughs and in some suburbs, A bike, a city, offers to seniors to embark on scooters driven by young people, in order to go for a walk or run errands during the summer, to break the isolation.

Visits of friendship

The community agency The Home of Mercier-est count on volunteers who do friendly visits for isolated seniors. For an hour or two, they can chat, knit, or take a walk together. In addition, a volunteer is regularly referred seniors signed up to take their new.

NURSING homes and child care facilities

Courtesy

For more than 20 years, the Manor house Sun in Chambly is a ltc facility that also houses a daycare for six children. The president, Nancy Gaudet, says that after her children are now her grandchildren that she sees on the site. Activities are organized between the elders and the children for generations learn to know and to help combat ageism.

Age-friendly city

A total of 102 projects at a cost of a little over a million dollars will be financed this year by the government, within the framework of what he calls its approach Municipality age-friendly (DAMA). Among the projects that could see the light of day : houses, multigenerational, recreation for seniors, and public awareness campaigns.

A few figures

♦ 145 190 people 65 years and older in Quebec

♦ 32%: third of people (32 %) 65 years and over live alone

♦
40%: This proportion rises to 40 % among 75 years and over

If among persons 65 to 74 years, over a third (35 %) of women living alone and 15% of men are in this situation, it is the case of more than one in two women (52 %) aged 75 and over compared to 24 % of men the same age.

♦ Nearly one Quebecer 75 years and older in four does not have friend on that count. In comparison, this proportion is below 5 % among the population aged 25-34.

♦ During a typical week, 31% of individuals aged 65 years and over living in a private home have no contact with their family communication (or visit). This proportion rises to 44 % for contacts with friends.

Sources : Statistics Canada and Institut de la statistique du Québec