The lawyer Rénald Beaudry recounts his battle with depression
Andrée Martin, TVA News
Tuesday, 13 march 2018 14:46
Tuesday, 13 march 2018 14:46
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Rénald Beaudry, one of the lawyers the most reputable of Quebec, believed that it was indestructible. The kind of man who would never be affected by the depression, and still less by the desire to die.
Despite signs and warnings of his relatives, he has never seen come from his descent into the underworld. It has hit the bottom in July 2016.
“During this period, I could not sign my name, so I was shaking. I could not read. I could cry for three or four hours per day. I went to bed and I thought only one thing: to die”, he entrusted to TVA Nouvelles.
Rénald Beaudry took refuge in the work. He did not sleep almost.
One day, while he was in his office, behind the house, it cracked. Trying to write a simple procedure, a trivial task for a lawyer, he began to cry.
“I said to myself: “No, it’s finished, I am no longer able, it is necessary for it to stop.””
It is out of the office and headed back to the house, where there was an intention to put an end to his days.
He had done his research and knew exactly what to do.
It was then that he saw his car. A few seconds later, it was travelling in the direction of the Centre hospitalier de l’université Laval (CHUL).
“I said to myself: “I’m gonna go see if there they can help me””, he recounted.
Mr. Beaudry has told of how he had arrived, in a crisis, the emergency room.
Photo from the archives, Stevens LeBlanc
“There was a lady who was with her baby in her arms, to the yard. And when the nurse told her: “Madam, come closer”, she said: “No, mister needs it more than me.” She asked me what I wanted. I said: “I want to die.” Immediately, they opened the door, they made me enter and I stayed for a month. It is sure that it comes from memories that are not necessarily pleasant, but make it stronger in the end”, he said.
“From the moment I arrived here they told me, they immediately took him to the emergency. There is no hospital card, at this time there. You hear the door close and lock behind you. It is all the more: “Give me your tie, your belt, your phone.” And they will support it.”
Rénald Beaudry remained a hospital for a month. Isolated from all, or almost. His two daughters visited her frequently.
Gradually, his doctor allowed him to go out.
“This is not a shame, to consult”
Once back home, Rénald Beaudry began a long therapy, supported by several experts. The first months were difficult.
“You look at the wall in front and you want to do nothing, you’re not able to do anything.”
“This is what people need to understand. The desire to die, it is just to stop being evil. You realize, when dealing with health professionals, that there are other ways to stop being evil to die,” he explained.
Today, Rénald Beaudry goes well. It is more effective in the workplace. He knows and respects his limits. It no longer takes the stress out of his clients.
Its former office, located at the rear of the house, it was transformed into a carpentry shop. To those who, as it happened, experiencing difficult times, he repeats his message.
“Me, I’ve always been the person who said: “My God, must have the time to do a depression, should be unionized.” But when I fell, I fell the same way as all those around me who were caring, no matter the profession. When you fall, you fall and hollow, no matter the height, it hurts,” he said.
“There are some who are ashamed to go to, and they should not. This is not a shame. I speak to you in front of the camera: “I’m not ashamed of what happened to me. See the world fall, I’ve seen it all my life and it does not impress me. But to see the world recover and come back stronger than when they fell, that, that impresses me.”